Hi,
do i know:
Richard says
Plus any analysing and/or psychologising and/or philosophising whilst one is in the grip of debilitating feelings usually does not achieve much (other than spiralling around and around in varying degrees of despair and despondency or whatever) anyway
. But what is your experience guys, do/did you first get back to feeling reasonably good to investigate or do/did you at least sometimes investigate whilst in the storm.
In my experience investigation is indeed much more fruitful when feeling "reasonably good" than bad.
That being said, especially in the beginning, feeling good sometimes seemed far, far away and to get things rolling it might be neccessary to do some digging even in suboptimal conditions.
What has been a crucial turning point in my practice though, was to realize that some very basic resentment (i.e. of not wanting to be here and now in the first place) cannot and need not be further investigated. All that is required to get over it is the conviction that
a) suffering is optional
b) suffering is silly
c) happiness (and harmlessness) is preferable
under ALL circumstances.
Out of that conviction (arising from either a PCE/EE or really just any experience better than your average mode of being) you may form the intention to be happy and harmless 24/7.
do i know:
And that brings me to my other question. Richard says that a prerequisite for applying the actualism method is to understand that this is my only moment of being alive. What is your experience?
did you "get" it from the start or did you "get" it at some later point on the path and
what was your success rate before and after "getting" this point?
I didn´t fully understand it from the beginning and my success rate was equivalently rather low.
The reason for that as far as I see it now is simply this:
Realizing that this is my only moment of being alive also means realizing that this is the only moment I can be happy and harmless. If I´m not willing to be happy and harmless now when will I be?
That question was the crux of the matter: I was postponing being happy and harmless because I was hoping for some future event which would make it easier for myself: more money, more stability, better job, vacation etc pp
Having done that long enough (postponing i.e.), at some point you realize that external conditions might very well never be perfect for 'me', because usually as soon as one thing is resolved another is right around the corner.
So considering that waiting isn´t going to get me anywhere closer to my goal, I resolve to be happy and harmless NOW... the only moment in time where I can actually CHOOSE to do so.
do i know:
And concerning the second question. Do you think its wise to try and really get this point as a type of koan- "How is it that this is my only moment of being alive" until it fully sinks in before trying the method again.
When I tried to 'get' how this is my only moment of being alive, I was often times expecting some magical insight into the meaning of life which would automatically catapult me on the right track. In my experience it is much more practical though, in that the understanding of how I can only be happy and harmless right now leads to the determination to do exactly that ...every waking second.