tsetse fly:
Simon T:
Can you give us an update on this subject? It's been a few months and I'm curious about your reflections on the experience at this point. Have you experimented further or have your feelings changed?
Thanks!
edit: silly me addressed this to the wrong person...
What I said pretty much still stand. My Iboga experience got rid of a bunch of tension that prevented me from moving to high equanimity. Since then I have been able to move from low to high equanimity almost everyday without too much pain. Still, I have to admit that the progress in the last few months wasn't spectacular, my practice in the cushion being weak and it's still challenging to bring relaxation into my life. In a way, I was trying too hard, caring too much, wanting too much to make progress. It's a mindset that could work in a very goal-oriented retreat like a Mahasi retreat, if we can take the heat, but
I decided to work on relaxation instead. I ordered some Iboga again (I did 1 gram in total so far, my plan is to do a full dose which would be 3.5 gram TA) but I have been able to stay closer to high equanimity (that is, waking up in the morning past the mini dark night instead of falling back to low equanimity during the night) for the last few days so I'm reporting my plan of doing it again. I take 400 mg of high absorption magnesium 2 times a day which act as a muscle relaxant. I also resumed taking Lyrica before going to bed which also act as a muscle relaxant. They are interesting substance since they don't have much of a rebound effect when you stop taking them.
Now, I have better access to high equanimity. I attribute it to my recent use of LSD. I didn't want to talk about it before I get more data on this so bear that this is very experimental I everything I'm saying here could be proven wrong in the next few weeks. The paradox I was experiencing is that the more relaxed I was getting, the more cognitively impaired I was, it part explained by the fact that I was spending more time in this sub-stage close to high-equanimity which is cognitively impairing. I had used low dose of mushroom in the past at my jobs to deal with that (I'm a computer programmer) but mushrooms are very tricky and kind of slow down progress and have somewhat of a rebound effect when we stop. I came to the conclusion that we shouldn't take psychedelics until high equanimity. LSD is more forgiving and if we take a low dose enough it's not going to prevent prevent moving from low to high equanimity. But the dosage has to be very low, something like 1/8 to 1/4 of a tab. If distortion appear, it's that someone is taking too much and pushing too much on the mind without the proper relaxation. What we are looking for is attentive relaxation. So, beside the fact that it helped me with cognitive impairment and maintain my job, it's in high equanimity where it appears they can assist progress. When the mind is soft and round and we can really hold it with all our energy. LSD enable pushing it further. As an example, my parents make me very anxious, so with a low dose of LSD I was able to expose myself to that anxiety and really work on it and soften it. I also worked on my sexuality, desires I believe I could live without, exposing myself to explicit image and dissolve every bits of self that would arise. LSD is of no use on the cushion, someone has to expose himself to stimuli (it can be movies, social life, work, etc) that unearth the self and make the experience uncomfortable and it's appear that only high equanimity allow this kind of deep work.
I'm not recommending doing those things. They are experiments and like any experiment in life, they can go wrong. I realize that I didn't warn people of the danger of Iboga. It should never be taken alone as someone loose autonomy on it (don't even think of getting up to go to the bathroom), you are guaranteed to vomit and there is a number of death attributed to people choking in their vomit. There is also a number of death caused by heart attack. Cognitive impairment lasted for a few days after for me but it can be more in some case. Those are one of the most powerful substances in the world. Iboga is one of the most awful experience I ever had.