I keep an online record of my practice here. I believe I'm in equanimity and my meditation experiences are becoming a disturbing combination of exciting and scary. I have the sensation of being "almost there" without any real idea of what "there" is, let alone how to take that last step to "get there".

Any thoughts, advice, encouragement, etc would be really welcome.

Thanks, Everybody!

as always

incorporate those qualities, fear, excitement, analysis, wonder, expectation, map theory, wanting to get somewhere, etc, as sensations, sensations that are occurring in space, are natural, not a problem, and incorporate them into the field, all of which is just qualities, and do this knowing exactly where all those sensations occur, coaxing them all into the awareness that they are all just objects, just qualities, including everything you think of as meditator, qualities that arise and vanish on their own

those sensations are all it equally

d

I just read your blog entry and would say you should read this link to Daniel's book and see what you think.
Emptyness

~D

What I'm thinking after reading that these posts is that I'm thinking too much. I could identify with the whole dropping down to insight stage four in MCTB (thanks for the link, Dreamwalker), then moving up, then "something happening", then dropping back down - but I'm super-duper confused about what it all is or means. I'm still unsure what a Fruition even is, let alone whether its something I've experienced.

Hey Mike, this posting might be right up your alley:
Hierarchy of Vipassana Practice

Also, have your jhana abilities rapidly taken off ever since this crazy equanimity stuff started happening?

Hey J Adam G,



Super helpful link. Thanks. Yeah - my ability to move through nañas 5-11 (and I'm guessing 12-16 - but it just registers as a *blip* so I can't be sure) has increased markedly. I can basically go from the dhukka nañas and into equanimity at will, then my experience of reality goes *blip*, some period of time seems to have passed without my perceiving it, and I'm back at 5. This repeats and repeats. I talked with Dreamwalker on the phone (thanks, Dreamwalker!) and read your link and a few others on this site - its sounding like my title for this thread is wrong - it should probably be more along the lines of "Review: What the Hell Have I Gotten Myself Into?"

Review is weird. I'm exploring the sensations that make it, but right now its so fresh that I'll be the first to admit that I'm super disoriented.