Reading Sharon Salzberg, I realize Metta runs much deeper than I had imagined, and it has me wondering how it might impact a person.

Ofcourse it feels good and makes you kinder, but I intuit it runs much deeper - I saw some study a while back on expert meditators, where generating compassion had them shift brainwaves from alpha to high gamma, which is usually associated with things like peak performance and lucid dreaming.

If anyone has gone far with Metta, or perhaps even done retreats with and completed it, what changes have you noticed it brings?

Producing metta in meditation and daily life helps me to let go of attachments and aversions. It makes you happy and when you are happy you don't need anything, you don't want anything, liking and disliking doesn't upset you, you are less attached you are more non-attached.

For this reason metta dispels ill will.

It also shows me that emotions are flexible so that even if I can't keep the metta going or if I forget to produce metta, I see emotions as biological phenomena, not reality, emotions are not "truth" I know I don't have to believe the story they are telling me about good and bad, right and wrong, etc. - it shows me the problem is not the situation, the problem is my reaction to the situation. That doesn't mean I ignore problems it means I can respond more with reason and compassion and less with out of control emotions.

Producing metta reduces the feeling of separation between self and not-self - when you love something you don't need to push it away. When you love everything, you don't need to separate yourself from anything.

When the feeling of separation is weaker, the sense of self itself is weaker because if the distinction between self and not-self is not made, then there is nothing by which to define self.

https://inquiringmind.com/article/2701_w_kornfield-enlightenments/

The first retreat I ever attended was a four night residential Mettā retreat. Certain factors came together which triggered a heart opening that lasted for days. I spent hours bawling my eyes out each day because I was so grateful & overjoyed to be alive. It felt as if the entire Universe had unfolded just to get me on that retreat to have that heart opening. To this day, I have similar, smaller heart openings that pop up from time to time. 

Mettā is not my main practice, but it holds a special place in my heart. The practice itself and my experience on that retreat showed me that there is an alternate way to relate to my life with sincerity & genuine gratitude. That feeling often fades in the face of my various self-protective mechanisms, but it can be called up again with a little daily Mettā practice.

Mettā is a beautiful practice that can enrich one's lived experience in ways that are sincerely life affirming - trying to quantify the benefits via brain waves or peak performance misses the point in my opinion, but we all come to these practices in our own way. Sharon's book is a great one - it's the one we used on the retreat.

@akd  Thanks AKD, this is what I intuitively hoped was possible. Your comment was very valuable to me. Do you recall exactly what book of Sharon's you used at the retreat?

@jimsmith Thanks Jim, that explains it super clearly.
It would be so nice to have an ongoing buffer against illwill and attachment.

That's one of the uses of mindfulness in daily life, to keep the mind from "forgetting" what it learned in meditation. When the Buddha taught mindfulness in the satipatthana sutta (the four establishments of mindfulness) He said (paraphrasing), "a monk lives thus..." before each type of meditation and mindfulness practice he describes. Shinzen Young said (paraphrasing) When you start, meditation is something you do in life, later on life is something that happens in meditation.

Apologies Aeon - I somehow thought that you had mentioned the title of the book in question (I guess that's my active imagination for you). 

The book was Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. I believe it was her first book and it handles the subject rather well. I have seen/heard Daniel recommend it in podcasts or maybe in MCTB2. 

​​​​​​​Enjoy!

For years my approach to meditation left me a bit edgy and anti-social. Metta has helped with that. I find I'm much warmer, easier to be around. At least I seem that way.

I also really like the approach of incorporating metta into insight. For example in the TWIM approach. I think it's a helpful and friendly way to start and while I didn't personally start that way, it is helping me immensely a few paths down the line. 

+1 on dispelling ill will. 

I would say this very slowly, with an exhale on each key word, so that even a sentence took multiple breaths. And when I said the words, I would imagine-feel what they meant in the body. Calm, ease, healthy, rested, whole, safe, free from danger, etc.  That way I felt the flicker of my good intention in my body (if just a little bit). 

May I be calm (exhale) and at ease (exhale)
May I be healthy (exhale), rested (exhale), and whole (exhale)
May I be safe () and complete free from danger ()
May I bravely experience this moment () and wisely avoid reactivity ()
May I awaken
May I be free from suffering
May I be happy.

If I didn't connect with a line, I would repeat it over again. I can remember times when it took me multiple times to truly express a heartfelt intention as I said the words. (By the way, when concentration gets strong, their can be all sorts of weird talking/mental speaking effects, words that echo or drop off, and lots of different mental states, odd feelings, etc. So it can be a odd kind of dreamy struggle sometimes just to get through this...)

Anyway, when that developed some momentum (feeling the sincerity of my wish for myself and connecting viscerally with what it did somatically to my felt body), then I did: May those who support me... (all of the lines above)

And eventually added: May those who oppose me... (all of the lines above)

And eventually added: May all beings in the universe, known and unknown, may they... (all of the lines above)

and regardless of what categories I did, I would always end with myself again.


So, you can see that if you did yourself, support, oppose, all, and yourself --- with the very slow approach of using multiple breaths --- that's easily a decently long sit!


Glad you're asking this Aeon, I didn't say it before, but I had a hunch that metta would be a good thing to add to your practice before/while you dive into another round of digesting trauma.

A useful way to access metta, if there's any resistance, is forgiveness. That's often how the TWIM guys teach it when people have difficulty taking loving kindness as an object. 

You can start with yourself or someone you have some friendly feelings towards. Note that person has probably done some wrong in their life, to you or otherwise and feel if you can forgive them for it. Then as forgiveness happens you can let go of "doing forgiveness" and it blossoms into something more compassionate and open. (I defintiely would not start practicing with someone who has really wronged you or who you have difficult history with, you can get to that later) 

Oh and smiling really helps. Doesn't have to be a big smile. Cheeky little buddha grin works wonders on the body-mind !!

+1 from me too!

 I started doing metta and the other bramaviharas from the instructions that Daniel gives in MCTB2 so when I encountered TWIM, it made sense to me to combine them with insight meditation as they do. It's good stuff.

Conal 

- Mettā brought good will in my life. I'm a much more positively oriented human being than I used to be.
- My mental problems faded away. I used to have severe anger issues, but now they are almost gone. Other defilements, such as jealousy, envy and greed are also reduced significantly.
- The world looks much more beautiful. Colors are more vivid, full of light.
- Interaction with human beings is much easier and lighter.
- Overall increase of happiness and well-being.

I will continue to do mettā as long as I'm alive. May you all be happy and free from suffering!

That's an excellent result!

Ahh this is a really good post. Metta practice has been my bedrock for thirty years now. I first learnt to meditate with Triratna in 1994 and, on the advice of teacher who came a good friend, I tried to practice 'metta every day for five years'. Whilst I missed a few days (and did mindfulness of breathing on a few others) I pretty much met his 'challenge' and it transformed my life.

The five years culminated on a two-week Brahmavihara retreat where, just like AKD testifies above, certain factors came together which triggered a huge heart opening (as well as strong Kundalini release). I was also doing my own version of noting practice at that time (based on Gendlin's 'Focusing' book) and experienced insight into paticcasamuppada in real-time. What I mean is that I could look inwards at important values/beliefs/experiences in my past history and see their building blocks/foundations/links 'collapse' infront of my mind's-eye. As I looked 'away' the belief system would rebuild/recreate/relink before me and I only had to look again for the house of cards to re-collapse. It was incredible and I spent a late afternoon lazing in the sun, alternating between sheer wonder at this deepening understanding and then recreating all these long-held views/re-setting them up only to make them tumble again. Eventually the 'house of cards' stayed collapsed and it felt like that phase of practice had ended. My heart opened further and I felt reborn (having finally put down many heavy rocks). My sense is that, without metta/equinimty practice, the experiences wouldn't have opened as smoothly and organically as they did, if at all.

To complete the story, a honeymoon phase (of peace and strong dharma understanding) lasted two or three months before gradually fading away as I returned to my usual life etc. I returned to the same retreat centre a year later (2001) and, on the same retreat, experienced the most brutal DN to date. It was excruciating and totally blind-sided me but constant metta-practice for the two weeks did help soften it somewhat. Findings Daniel's book in 2010 was a huge revelation and answered questions I didn't even know to ask. What a book!

Wow, 30 years of mettā! Your life surely must have been transformed. Did you receive the 11 benefits, as promised by the Buddha in Metta Sutta? Have you noticed the protection of the Devas in your life?

I'm happy to hear that mettā resolved your belief system. This kind of descriptions only encourage me more to pursue mettā in my life. In my case, mettā began to dissolve my identification with material body. This was the result of purification of the mind. I practice mettā by chanting Pali mantra, which is a part of Karaniya Metta Sutta. Sabbē sattā bhavantu sukhitattā.

How do people here actually deepen their metta practice, beyond just saying the mental phrases and trying to do it more frequently? Like what is the path of compassion?

I came across of one-off talk on metta and emptiness that was pretty interesting that also showcases what im talking about

1. Metta towards beings 
2. Metta towards beings, holding into account their death and fragility 
3. Metta towards beings as the brief flickers of existence 
4. Metta towards the individual mind moments of suffering
5. Compassion towards beings qualified by emptiness (so you reflect on how they might be inseparable from the universe - in terms of any of the aggregates, how we might share the same elements from a supernova, they are not separate from past or future they are infinite and unfindable as a separate thing). 

Buddhist monks chant verses from Karaņiya-mettā Sutta every day as their regular practice. That's how they do mettā. This practice goes deeper and deeper as you do it regularly. This is how you develop compassion for all kinds of living beings.

ye keci pāṇabhūtatthi, tasā vā thāvarā vanavasesā.
dīghā vā ye va mahantā, majjhamā rassakā aṇukathūlā.
diṭṭhā vā ye va addiṭṭhā, ye ca dūre vasanti avidūre.
bhūtā vā sambhavesī vā, sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā.

“Whatever living beings there may be — feeble or strong (or the seekers and the attained) long, stout, or of medium size, short, small, large, those seen or those unseen, those dwelling far or near, those who are born as well as those yet to be born — may all beings have happy minds.”

(...) So the meditation given in the Karaņiya-mettā Sutta is a very good place to start. You can send blessings, good wishes to all beings. You will be surprised what happens: your heart will fill to overflowing with kindness, beneficence and love. You will be moved to ecstasy, even to tears with gladness. It is a good place to start to heal all the wounds of the heart that have kept us imprisoned in illusion for so long: May all beings be happy!

-- Forest Monastery Journal

The full Brahmavihara suite is metta (goodwill, kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (empathetic joy), upekka (equanimity).
I start each day with a 90 minute sit of one of them. Round robin.

Initially upekka was the most difficult for me to connect with. The way I connected with upekka was acknowledging that my self/ego doesn't control other people and doesn't have an omniscent perspective to know the difference between impermanent short term suffering that leads to a good outcome (think a child learning to ride a bike, falls are expected and tolerated because the suffering is minor and the outcome is beneficial). I don't know what's best for other people, I don't know what's best for my constantly changing self/ego. I simply don't know. And acknowledging not knowing what I can't control triggers upekka for me. The feeling of not needing to do anything is better than joy, for me.

Lately karuna has been the most difficult for me to connect with. I've run through all of my family and friends and imagined their suffering, now I'm reading the personal stories in the alcoholic anonymous book and listening to podcast interviews with Venezualan refugees to triggger the Karuna feeling. I haven't resumed volunteer work that I used to do, but I increased my donations to causes that I believe are beneficial and I am mindful of the organizations that would benefit.

On metta and mudita days the only problem is that I'm smiling for so long my face hurts. Not a fake smile to provoke an emotion. Happy thoughts make me smile.

I haven't gotten very far in terms of paths/attainments. I had a couple deep insights into not-self and tanha while on retreat, now everyone else's suffering and joy is more important than mine.

That sounds excellent. I love reading how different practices change our worlds. There are many ways that the mind can be trained and I am inclined to think that just the fact of training being done has a beneficial effect for the person doing the practice. That said, the practices that all the commentators on this thread have described seem to be real gifts to the world!

Sorry for slow reply Marino, I've been away. Well, whilst I certainly wouldn't say I've received all 11 benefits that you posted to, I can resonate with a few: falling asleep is easy, I do make lasting connections with others and my skin is pretty decent Joking aside, I also experience a greater depth of patience and can rest in that when needed and feel a strong connection/empathy with fellow humans and animals. However, I still often get caught by difficult mental states but can release a little quicker and not take them so personally than before. More insight needed?!

As for protection from devas, don't know about that but usually at the start of a retreat I feel the need to ask for their blessings and then thank them at the end for allowing practice etc. The best advice I received was to practice meeta bhavana as though it works in real time. I often use verses (may you be well etc) and imagery of golden light eminating and, whilst it can sound somewhat corny (when I've taught it that way), I've lost count of the times the practice has saved me. One standout was an early vipassana retreat when the proverbial hit the fanand I was lost in deep fear (of madness). The teaching nun asked if I knew the metta practice and, answering in the affirmative, she told me to 'practice metta Nick, practice non-stop all day'. 24-48 hours later the fear suddenly transformed into open expansive equanimity in a single heart-beat. It was incredible and all I could do was lay prostrate in front of the Buddha shrine when I next entered the hall, thanking him for all that he has given us I think 'gratitude' may be the fifth Brahmavihara?

Pali metta chanting sounds great, and is something I've done occasionally, and I can well believe you are gently dis-identifying with the material body (or at least seeign there are more connections and more refined levels)? Thanks all for contributing to this post, I've come to the conclusion that, for me at least, no insight is possible without metta practice.

PS Andrew, for uppekha bhavana, one teacher taught me to start practicing karuna to a person and then switch to mudita (to the same person) and then back to karuna etc and sometimes it has felt as thought the emotions merged and elevated into upekkha. I use the word elevated becuase it has sometimes felt equinimity is the 'refined/wisest' state of the Brahmaviharas?