And then fruition happens.

It's the same old story. I could get up and do stuff but then jhana would be so nice and then I'm supposed to be social distancing. So who cares that you are moving farther and farther from you beloved, who already has a freaking (read fecking) boyfriend.

Then there is staying the same. That's a tough game to play.

You could run into your old girlfriend, who is married now. 

If I don't get any responses I will go fly a kite

Such a nice gesture!

I've been told flat out by a therapist that I will never get married. Then again my Grandfather tried to forcibly arrange me to marry a girl I didn't even like. Pretty fucked up. I've had to throw a fit everytime someone I know has got married.

I'm a party crasher.

Thankfully I have jhana and stream entry.

Just to let you all know, I am sleeping Buddha syndrome's dad, and he wanted me to communicate that he struggles with mental illness. Sometimes he may say things he does not really mean. So please forgive. His illness, in many ways, drove him to his practice, and it helps, but there are still dark times. He lives with his mom and I and we are proud to be his parents. We love him and are happy he is safe with us. I have a meditation practice, so I am sure you will be kind. Thanks for your understanding.