The dark waters represent the murkiness of the mind- deep and clouded.  The lotus is transformation, emerging from the chaotic depths into a bulb of bright, crystalline beauty.  As the lotus breathes in its first breath, it cries with relief, having spent the cold winter in the gloomy, unknowable water.

What does the lotus mean to you?  The only rule is: no quotes allowed!

Now I like to think of it more as yin-yang: the muck and the flower are mutually dependent and contain each other, not one without the other, and the flower eventually returns to the muck as seed and nutrients and the muck and roots and seeds eventually become another flower... 

But when I was younger I liked the image of a more perfect thing growing out of a less perfect thing... that somehow there was something precious in myself that wasn't affected --- and maybe would even thrive --- by being surrounded by all this muck.

Two kinds of mind - the murky, muddled, confused, busy, samasaric mind and the clean, clear, pristine awakened mind.

For me, the lotus means... beauty and something really rare?I play Magic: The Gathering. The Black Lotus is the rarest and most expensive card.

"Now I like to think of it more as yin-yang"

That's a cool way to look at it, the murkiness is full of nutrients after all, and just because it may look 'gross' doesn't mean it IS gross.

I think there is traditionally (?) an association between bodily purity and the lotus, like from a morality standpoint. The good rising up out of the evil/temptation, that sort of thing. (Not that that's a bad thing)

To me, it's got a flavor of classic Buddhist insight though. There's a brightness and obviousness to the flower, and a mundane-ness about the water, and something about the roots growing up towards the light. Makes me wonder if that's how the lotus symbol really grew roots back in the day.

Chris M is hunting me down thorough the blog.

question chris:

How much time do you spend sleeping?

I nirodha samapatti five minutes per day.

I will create accounts until two things happen.

One: you let me very, very humbly post and apologize for crossing the line and being disrespectful.
Because I was. Seriously. I admit it. I am truly sorry.

Two: if you don't accept my apology, I will keep being polite. And again. And Again. I will meet your lack of apology with humbleness.

Your captcha in the website? Very easy to crack.

I already have one thousand accounts and I can do this until I desencarnate and go to wherever arahants go when they die.

Choose your actions and words carefully, okay?

Wishing you a happy day or night.

​​​​​​​Evangeline.

For example. Here... I was completely humble. I ADDED to the post.

And then on the other post. I attacked myself. You correctly inferred that "she is humble enough to attack herself. Because she doesn't want to destroy stuff. She just wants to help. She taught she had to make jokes to be heard. But she should have been more patient and let her knowledge speak for itself"

True. How many times I have to say to have posting access again?

I am sorry. I have done wrong.
I am sorry. I have done wrong.

Every time my apologies are met with _lack of compassion, aversion, ignorance_... you lose credibility.

Until people will prefer following me.

​​​​​​​@cesartalves on X.

Ah, you could also speak with Daniel Ingram. I really like the guy. He's my buddhist mentor. He advanced my enligthenement by 1 hundred thousand years with his book. I am humbled to know he's a supporter of the blog and pays the bills.

But if you keep banning me again and again and again...

I will watch the blog from the shadows and wait for the moment to strike it with wisdom.

You do not know the extent of my: morality, concentration and wisdom. Read this aloud.

I just want to help.

But I do not commit "Buddhas sin" and I have eyes and hands everywhere in the world.

I like your style
I also like your sense of determination. It reminds me of me!

What I dont like is the dishonesty of using multiple accounts. And I dont like the casual flippancy and lack of depth in your posts.

Why dont you stick to one particular handle and write about your practice and attainments in depth. Try and avoid comparisons to other people. Try not to pull down any individual, but in fact, write about your practice. Share what you have learnt. Put your back into it.

​​​​​​​And then .... if you are the biggest baddest Arhat to have ever lived ... the gods will gather around to pay homage to you

I feel great compassion -- for the members of DhO who have to put up with your monopolizing of so many conversations, making ridiculous claims to attainments, and being a general pain in the ass. Your actions belie your words. If you're serious about apologizing, act like it. What I see you doing is classic troll behavior. You can send me a PM if you want to have a serious conversation.

I've again banned this latest doppelganger account. 

This is a doppleganger. Being utterly honest. I take your points to the heart.

Thanks Adi Vader. Your critique touched me. You pinpointed my determination and my flaws.

I am truly determined to be a positive energy in the blog.

Thanks Chris.

I feel great compassion -- for the members of DhO who have to put up with your monopolizing of so many conversations, making ridiculous claims to attainments, and being a general pain in the ass. Your actions belie your words. If you're serious about apologizing, act like it. What I see you doing is classic troll behavior. You can send me a PM if you want to have a serious conversation.

I did not know I could send you a PM. I am going to do that right now. I have forgotten how to use forums. Social media made us lazy.

You can ban this account and delete my posts. This post is very precious. I wish no harm to it. I will try sending you a dm from Evangeline.

Best, The Hanged Woman

here's the Full DM I sent Chris. He said I was a pain the ass. True.
​​​​​​​he says I make claims to ridiculous attainements. I won't speak about them.

Hi Chris. 

I am sending a message as you instructed. I am sorry for my behavior.

You see. My approach to enlightening people is a bit different.
I try to bring fun to it. Not only vipassana and shamadhi. I use puzzles.

the question about the 11st and 12nd fetters? I sent them straight to Daniel. He was intriged, but in this words, "my inbox has 1200+ things to read".

So here I am trying to make amends.

Delete all my posts from all personas (better than dopplegangers. Jungian term) that you see unfitting.

Tell me how to apologize. Give me the words.

As my last doppleganger said: I Bow to the Dharma Overground.

As a Prize, I will make my "Pupil's practice log". Unblock that thread if you can. I will put extremely advanced dreams and practices. 
I will tell you what my favorite kasina object is. 100x better than a candle.

_

Again, reiterating:
- I apologize for my misbehavior and creating multiple accounts. Ban all the ones you wish.
- Let me have one account, and you are free to delete any post or reply you see unfitting. For Example, you might start with Cosmic Catastrophe. And the ones in the Humour section. I seriously intended them as a joke but I realize it was a bad joke.

Let's talk. I am retired from the human world like you. Also an ex IT professional trying to spread the dharma in whatever form I can.

Send The Master (Daniel) my kind regards,

Best,

Luana (the name I used before I reawakened).
I can make that my display name and put my real photo.

Cesar is my pupil.
Evangeline is his favorite avatar in this world.

-

​​​​​​​Lastly, I'd love you and Cesar to get in touch. Gimme your X or social media handle. Not publishing his. Or send your email in the DM in your inbox from Evangeline.

To the awakening and freedom of all beings and perpetual erasing of the secret fetters.

​​​​​​​Best,
Luana

Lotus is very beautiful and fragrant, and so is our Buddha nature.