Hi
I experienced A&P stage almost 3 years ago in Goenka retreat, however, at that time I did not understand what was happening. During an intensive phase I felt such an urge to get up that I had to open my eyes and walk out of the hall. The vibrations stopped but maybe for half an hour I was seeing the world before my eyes as it is, made from atomic particles arising and vanishing constantly. The retreat finished with no more insights, but this experience changed my view to reality. I went to 2 more retreats in a short time, but haven’t reached the same stage. As I did not feel like making progress, that internal drive started to fade and somehow I became such a wordly person indulging in sensual things, breaking morality etc. like never before in my life. I went to a few more retreats almost like of a habit than a real need.

Now I haven’t done any practice for 1,5 years, but recently got much inspiration and information besides started to feel my present life too much unsatisfactory. In possible opportunity I will go on unlimited time retreat until I make any insight progress.

Now I was wondering what can be the reasons for not being able to make progress or falling off from the Path? Can it be that thereis a certain time for everything, things happen for everone when they have to and there is no need to worry?

Any advice or clarification appreciated

Hi April,

If what you experienced was the A/P stage then right after it comes the Dukkha nanas. They can be rough and Reobservation stage is also referred to as the 'Roll up your mat" stage for all the practicioners who "give up" for all the misery it can seem to churn up.

I was myself very immersed in the Goenka tradition for over 9 years. I didn't know anything about the maps of insight so I was floundering around in the dark night/dukkha nanas until I read Daniel Ingram's book. I even had a couple of years within those 9 where I gave up meditating daily.

Check out the chapter on the dukkha nanas:

http://bit.ly/w1QKN


Knowing the map of insight helped me establish where I was and also that there was a goal to all the sitting which was achievable in this lifetime. It helped me realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and to keep practicing was not fruitless. Far from it. I kept at it and on the 1st of January this year got stream entry. I know of people who have progressed in a very short time once crossing the A/P to Equanimity of formations stage and then on to 1st path / stream entry with the assistance of Daniel and/or KEnneth Folk. Why can't you?

Here's an account of what I did on my last Goenka retreat

http://bit.ly/aBdEgx

Having a goal helps and trust me, life gets real interesting once you get there. And it is not some lofty goal for a distant life. If you work correctly and constantly, you could get it done in a very short time. Go for it!

cant find link to ur goenka experience please give it again nikolai

Hey abhjit,

Here it is:

http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2011/06/yogis-journal-from-chronic-dark-night.html


I was a naughty dhamma boy. Didn't follow instructions. So if you have a reaction to this fact, read this:

[url=http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2010/11/going-for-stream-entry-on-goenka-10-day.html
]http://thehamiltonproject.blogspot.com/2010/11/going-for-stream-entry-on-goenka-10-day.html


:-)

Nick

When you say you can't make progress, what specifically do you mean?

When on retreat, what happens?

The Dark Night contains an interesting trap: insights abound but because they neither feel good nor do they have the glory of the a&p, people reject them.

Prorgess feels impossible: the hard lesson is that this is it.

Things are happening in a way that feels out of our control: this is causality itself.

Things are unpleasant and irritating: this is direct insight into suffering, but second after second people their own direct insights.

Familiar?

Daniel

Hi April

What is your motivation? Why do you want to practice?

April got SE ages ago. This thread is an old one.

:-)